tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31560227544701368372024-03-05T09:27:56.794-08:00Best Things in life...Everyone's first time is always the sweetest one..Marcushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16590027164832002515noreply@blogger.comBlogger28125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3156022754470136837.post-15215772524213032442015-03-30T00:06:00.000-07:002015-03-30T00:06:25.532-07:00Game? Countless reasons as to why you are making me so happy. But one thing is for certain. You are doing it oh so right!<br />
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Not so long ago, I was grieving. I was left. I was no one.<br />
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You showed up, out of nowhere, said hello. I did say 'hi'. I knew it will be the start of endless hellos.<br />
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In a very short period of time, we both got each other's attention. We talked about life, love and other things you have not told anyone before. You were so amazing. <br />
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I am taking a risk. I know you are doing the same. I love you. You love me. That's more than enough to face tomorrow.<br />
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This may be an unfinished love story, but hell yeah, the plot is getting better and better as days go by.<br />
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I can't wait to wake up seeing your beautiful face first thing in the morning. Feeling your breathe touching my cheeks. Experiencing the warmth of your love. Counting your endless hellos.<br />
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You are so damn good!<br />
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:-)Marcushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16590027164832002515noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3156022754470136837.post-34317480386054994802015-03-04T03:26:00.001-08:002015-03-04T03:26:27.506-08:00let this be this for now.I have loved, I was loved. I made it felt, I felt it, too. We were happy, delusional. We made plans, we hoped, we vowed to have them accomplished. We shared laughs, tears. We were almost there.<div>
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Ours was not typical. It was neither conventional. It was one of a kind. It was, at first, envied. It was, in the beginning, perfect. We were almost there.</div>
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We slept together. We created dreams together. We were so happy. I was so content. I told myself 'this is it!' We were almost there.</div>
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Growing up, I was always the confident one. I am so assured of myself I can do things- alone. I never needed a shoulder to lean on. I never asked for ears to hear me out. I was always heard anyway. I am so capable. I have something unusual. I was almost there.</div>
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Little did I know, a man will come to make me feel I am vulnerable. Someone who will make me feel I am a lesser earthling. Someone who, at some point, destroyed my established confidence. Someone who can change me in an instant. He made me feel we were almost there.</div>
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Perhaps, that's the beauty of falling in love. It changes your perspective. It changes your personality. It can renew you either for the better or whatever. It gives your life new meanings. It is almost there.</div>
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Sunset came, we parted ways. It was painful. It was sudden. It was heartbreaking. I lost my sanity. I wanted to fight for it. I cried. I asked for chances. I tried. He responded with cold shoulders. Did he also think we were almost there?</div>
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I was left alone. I was grieving. Will I make it there?</div>
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One morning I realised, I am still me. I am still the same Marcus who fought the hardest battles no one would ever want to give a damn. I am that little kid who was once tagged intellectually capable and advance. I have not lost myself. I have just lost my sanity but not my worth. I have legs. My arms are still in pair. I have not lost the lobes of my brain. I can still smile. For once, I am certain. I am still able. I can get there.</div>
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The road may still be long and winding. I know I will still meet people along the way. People who will, hopefully, take me back to sanity. People who will give me reasons to write what's on my mind. People who will take me there, or at least help me get there. </div>
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This is never ending. This is a cycle. </div>
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Marcushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16590027164832002515noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3156022754470136837.post-3299127806021593832014-05-29T04:33:00.000-07:002014-05-29T04:33:12.482-07:00Getting to know myself- virtually. <b>Your view on yourself:</b><br />
<strong></strong><br />
<span id="Label1">You are down-to-earth and
people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem
solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a
decision that usually appeals to both parties.</span> <br />
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<b>The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:</b><br />
<strong></strong><br />
<span id="Label2">You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything
and everything to keep your love true.</span> <br />
<br />
<b>Your readiness to commit to a relationship:</b><br />
<strong></strong><br />
<span id="Label3">You are
ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will
pretty much know as soon as you might that person.</span>
<br />
<b>The seriousness of your love:</b><br />
<strong></strong><br />
<span id="Label4">You like to flirt and
behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why
you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about
choosing someone to be in a relationship with?</span>
<br />
<b>Your views on education</b><br />
<strong></strong><br />
<span id="Label5">Education is very important
in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.</span>
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<b>The right job for you:</b><br />
<strong></strong><br />
<span id="Label6">You're a practical person
and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do
is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for
life.</span>
<br />
<b>How do you view success:</b><br />
<strong></strong><br />
<span id="Label7">You are confident that you
will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from
trying.</span>
<br />
<b>What are you most afraid of:</b><br />
<strong></strong><br />
<span id="Label8">You are afraid of
things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how
you feel.</span>
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<b>Who is your true self:</b><br />
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<span id="Label9">You are full of energy and
confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean.
You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.</span> <br />
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90% True!Marcushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16590027164832002515noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3156022754470136837.post-72422514768990101512014-05-16T21:37:00.002-07:002014-05-16T21:37:45.609-07:00You know it is going nowhere.<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It has been a long time, long long time, since I last saw you. The last time I wrote on you was purely untitled. It meant nothing. It is nothing. You know, I am aware at times you are mad at me. I only lurk or even check up on you when I am down, sad, going nowhere, desolated, despondent and other adjectives that best describe loneliness. And yes, for the nth time, it strikes again.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This blog has been made not to rant, neither will this serve as my other venue to speak the unspoken madness, craziness and insanity I have in me. But it is turning, well actually turned out, to be something close and similar to that. I could not remember telling you about my happiness, accomplishments, new people in my life, my new possessions. Rather, it is always the opposite. I know at times you wish to just shut your self down. Believe me, I will not know how to get by if my only friend, in your persona, will get tired to listen to all my pieces and just suddenly disappear. I hope to cultivate whatever kind of friendship, okay relationship, we have. Nevertheless, you know how much I love you. Because of you, I get to exercise my writing skills that I am starting to forget. Thanks for always being there. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It's 12:04 in the afternoon. Sunny is just so sweet to let us experience his bitter sweet warmth. In 12 hours, I am turning 23. You got it right, yours truly is already sweet 23. Let me show you my own version of 'throwback' and take you back to my childhood. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">On 18th May 1991, Marcus was delivered to the world. Full of joy, I guess, mom and dad named him Mark Joseph. His childhood was not the ideal one, neither was it the superlative of bad. It started out just fine. He only wanted a burger whenever his dad goes home from his bread and butter. He enjoyed simple pleasures. They are neither rich nor the poorest. I can say, they were surviving. After good five years, his family had another baby - Ramon. Just like in the movies, that momentous event the first time parents lay their eyes on their babies-</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Pardon me, I can't type anymore. Not that I am tired, but I have long forgotten about the past. I do not live and dwell in the past. I may say my autobiography is not for the books, blogs or elsewhere. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Life is not always about exciting new beginnings, rising denouement, happy endings. This is facing the reality and always have the 'moving forward' attitude. In my 23 years of existence, I have learned and experienced a lot of things. Felt a lot of emotions. Myriad orgasms in both sexual and mental aspects. Met a lot of people, some stayed, some are steady but a lot of them just glided by. Welcome to my life!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">I do not know, and do not even have the slightest idea, how my life will end. Will I live peacefully? Will I age gracefully? Will I mature naturally? Will I die happily? Maybe after writing and posting this, I will die. I may also live longer. Who knows? I just do not expect. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">I have no idea how to end this post. So, I guess, 'till I see you again. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">This too shall pass.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Happy Birthday, Marcus!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span>Marcushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16590027164832002515noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3156022754470136837.post-22739914484279101152013-06-19T05:04:00.001-07:002013-06-19T05:05:37.037-07:00Untitled<div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It has been raining for some days now. This is the time of the year when all I want to do is to just stay at home and watch the pouring rain flood the streets. Rain has started to inundate thirsty hearts yet dreary nights still linger.Nothing really goes on now but just the music that plays on my earphones.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Mind travels in nothingness.Soul sees vagueness. I am in the state of emptiness. This has already happened and will forever hunt me. This is a no ending beginning of non existence. This is the feeling I call 'hopeless'.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I am sad for no reason. I am gloomy for no reason. I get mad for a certain reason. I get excited for several reasons. These reasons define my existence.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If only I can foresee tomorrow, if only forgetting the past is as easy as glancing, if only the present is as impeccable as my imagination, life is one hell of a wonderful ride. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My writing goes nowhere. Scribble. Non sense. Random. Boring. It goes to all the people who experience same thing every once in a while. I am nothing but a human being.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I realise I have been wearing a mask. A mask only me can visualise and see. A mask that changed my well-being, my true self and my portrayal. I have no plans of unmasking it. I enjoy every single day I wear it. I learned how to embrace and love it. This is the new Marcus that faces the world with a mask called 'Courage'. I am not perfect. I am far from being the best. I am neither a fourth of greatness. But with this mask, I am more than perfect. I see and appreciate things and people at their best. I feel internal greatness with whatever I do.<i> </i>I am satisfied. I am able to see different facets of life. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Struggling to cap off this post beautifully. Challenged to put a good ending. Musing. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">'Till next time.</span></div>
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Marcushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16590027164832002515noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3156022754470136837.post-30752342240457777042013-01-09T14:01:00.001-08:002013-01-09T14:01:30.251-08:00And give me this moment to rant. <br />
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For some weeks now, life gives me a lot of complications that neither me, nor anyone of you, will fathom. Complications that I never thought would give me repercussions no one can ever imagine. Life is really challenging me that to some extent, I feel unfair and unjust. But who am I to complain? This is life and no matter how I rant nor shout out loud that I do not want to live this kind of life, I am just a human whose life only revolves in his own comfort zone called 'home' and his bread and butter called 'work'. Words are not enough to express how these mishaps are effecting me deeply and thoroughly. I have been wanting a release. I have been longing for an impeccable execution. I have been dreaming for a bliss but all I am getting is always an abyss.<br />
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I truly believe end is about to come. End that will put a mark in all of these. End that will start a new beginning. End that will end things I started unknowingly. End that will end this despondency. End is now.<br />
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Marcushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16590027164832002515noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3156022754470136837.post-34201909208311915352012-12-11T04:06:00.002-08:002012-12-11T22:07:18.719-08:00'.. no, I am not in search of someone..' <br />
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And this is the classic line I always tell my trainess, applicants, colleagues, friends and loved ones. And yes! I am lying because underneath this overused phrase is a heart that screams due to longingness for someone. How long have I been using this phrase? Million years ago.<br />
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Since the last heartbreak that still torments me even up until this very moment, I can not imagine myself being with someone else. I can not even see myself holding someone's arms and lie every night like what we used to do. Have I been hurt too hard that even up until now I still can't move on? These are the random thoughts I have whenever I lurk on his facebook account:<br />
<br />
- Are you truly happy now that you're free?<br />
- How's your life after whosover you meet up and have casual sex with?<br />
- Does that someone prepare your breakfast?<br />
- Do you feel the same feeling you used to feel when you were kissing me?<br />
- Was there even a time that you also missed me and cared to text or call me?<br />
- Am I still welcome if one day I'll show up in our what we used to call 'Home'?<br />
- Did you even dream of me? Even for once?<br />
- Did you even consider what will I feel when we were making love and you silently uttered someone's name? Do you even remember that? Did you even see me weeping?<br />
- Do you even remember when you let me wait in the midst of the night and I will just receive a text 'I can't make it'?<br />
- Do you still remember when you told me I'll be the one you'll forever love and the plans we've made?<br />
- Do you still remember the big stuffed toy you gave me as your birthday present? Oh yes! I still have him.<br />
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A lot of 'Do yous', 'What ifs', 'How is' and 'Why'. The cause is just goodbye.<br />
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I thought I have already gotten over it. I thought I have already breakfree. I thought this has already ended. All my thoughts are wrong. Up until when will I be a prisoner of our yesterday? How long do I have to suffer? Ain't three years enough for these realisations?<br />
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xoxoMarcushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16590027164832002515noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3156022754470136837.post-56152276069516557852012-12-06T05:29:00.002-08:002012-12-06T05:41:44.143-08:00Round 2<br />
Once is enough.<br />
Twice is too much.<br />
Thrice is stupidity.<br />
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It is neither the second nor the third time this has occured. People come and go. Sadly, life has to move on albeit everyone has turned their backs on you. Why can't life be so easy and subtle? Why can't we live in a world where the word 'Questions' is nothing but something that has to glide by? Why can't this blog stop from questioning and inquiring moment after moment? Why do we have downtimes? Why and nothing but why.<br />
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And it has to happen again. Why have I not learned? Why can't it stop from recurring? Why can't I have a Christmas with my loved ones? Why can't I end the year and welcome another one with my someones? Why do I always have to be lonesome? Why and nothing but why.<br />
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I am no one but no one. I breathe. I wake up. I eat. I love. I sleep. I laugh. I pray. I am trying. Why do I have to live a life like this? This life is making me lose my patience. This life is what I live.<br />
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Come on love and mesmerize me. Fill me with your enchanting power. Shower me with your sparkling light that makes the world go round. Spare me your superflouous love that others take for granted. Why can't you knock me off my feet like what you did three some months ago? Why can't you astound me with this idyllic 'knight-and-shining-armor' fantasy every little girl has. Why and nothing but why.<br />
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As I watch myself in the mirror, as I open my eyes every after sleeping, as I feel hurt every after heartbreak, as I love every minute of the day, as I type every single letter on this keyboard, as I sway to the orgasmic rhythm, tears always fall down.<br />
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I am always derange. Life is never perfect, even at it's simplest form. Why can't we all just follow the norm? When will I stop from questioning 'Why?'.<br />
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And I believe everything has to end. And I believe everything should end.<br />
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xoxoMarcushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16590027164832002515noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3156022754470136837.post-46443604509848627842012-11-11T04:43:00.001-08:002012-11-11T04:45:06.543-08:00Falling away..The irony of the song I'm tuned into right at this moment, whilst my fingers run through this keyboard. The song says 'I am falling away, I'm flying with you to the sound of love'. This is so far from reality. But no, I am not complaining nor blaming someone for this. I'm just happy I am falling away, with a lot of things that keep me busy these days. <br />
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I am alone here in our office right now. I already run through a lot of websites and some of them are indeed prohibited. Oh well, this blog is seriously edit-free and whatever comes out of my mind sways with my fingers. I am so out of control and this effing sound in my earphones are taking me away. I feel like dancing. I feel like screaming. I feel like moaning. I feel like whatever. I wanna have sex, oh well, I have been virgin for so many months now. These beats are deeply hitting my sensitive spots. What the eff is happening with me? Trance musics are driving me insane. <br />
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I can't help but dance to the beat of this effing song. My 'weirdoness' is so overflowing right now. <br />
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It's just, I think, the best way to bid goodbye to weekend and four more hours, hello FUCKING MONDAY!<br />
<br />Marcushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16590027164832002515noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3156022754470136837.post-20206204225886759292012-05-13T00:18:00.001-07:002012-05-13T00:18:42.336-07:00Living posi+ively<br /><div>
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So I was lurking on a <a href="http://iamhivpositive.tumblr.com/page/2#axzz1uj5LBQJZ" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">tumbler account</a> of a friend over Twitter. I do not know him personally. Neither do I know his name nor his face. All I know is he is positive and, despite, he lives positively. Yes, he conquers each and every single day of his life battling with AIDS.</div>
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AIDS, what do I know about this?</div>
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It's fatal. It appears no symptoms but attacks you until the very last breath of your life. It could be acquired in as fast as 2 minutes. And so many other information that google has fed me about this disease. </div>
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He frequently tweets about ARVS, Lamivudine, Avolam etc.. Heck would I care about such terminologies. Never did I encounter those meds in my whole life as I only know Carbocisteine, Cough Syrup and Neozep. But why on the earth am I so much interested with this extraordinaire guy's life? </div>
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Have you guys ever read the book 'Orosa-Nakpil'?. It is a book written by someone dealing with the life of an HIV Positive and the people surrounding him. Upon reading the last parts of that book, I could not help but to cry. Tears continuously fell down as if it happened to me in real life. I was in the arms of someone when I began reading that book. I asked him 'What if one day we'll find out I am positive. Would you remain the same or you'll turn your back on me like you never knew me at all? ' and he honestly answered 'Say you have acquired it from someone, I would remain the same but you should not expect that we could still do things we used to enjoy. Of course, restrictions will be there but know that it is for our own betterment'</div>
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What if one day you wake up and find out that you are a carrier? How would you deal with it? How would you cope with a disease that even up until the very present time no antidote has been invented? How would you tell your parents that you have gotten it because you played unsafely? How would you face everyday knowing that sunrise is always a question? How would you face the mirror with all the scars the disease has imparted you? and lastly, how can you go back to the normal life you used to have? </div>
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Here goes backtracking and asking myself, what if? </div>
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To be very honest, I am afraid. How would I answer the questions above? What will be my initial reaction? How will my family accept it? How will I tell them? Would I survive? Would I last? </div>
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This guy has been fighting for almost all of his life. His tumbler account may not be the exact representation of all the hurts he torments from, but it shouts out loud that it touches few hearts who happened to read his blog. I may not feel how the ARV touches my throat, may not feel how painful is hurt, may not experience what he experienced but I know it's something that opened my eyes to reality. Reality that is not only written in books, in blogs or in twitter, but is in someone's circulation and could also be in our circulation, in my circulation. </div>
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I may not have the courage to answer all my questions above but I do hope that if one day, I'll show up with a red ribbon on my shirt, people will see me as the same Marcus who cheerfully greets every morning despite its imperfection. </div>
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For you unknown friend, I wish you nothing but wisdom to face each day with courage. May all the love in the world be with you always. Keep holding on! </div>
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-xoxoMarcusxoxo</div>
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<br /></div>Marcushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16590027164832002515noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3156022754470136837.post-44720235903137476012012-04-14T21:27:00.001-07:002012-04-14T21:32:08.653-07:00That morning when I questioned my sexuality.Composing my thoughts. Musing how to start this effing ideas I got on my mind. Definitely I so missed blogging. And here it goes...<br />
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</div><div>Last Friday night, cousins and some friends of her together with yours truly partied at CQB in Marikina. It was just my first time going there and I must say that it is the cheaper version of D Zone fronting La Salle. I meant, I felt like it was more of a Mercatto-type place. Nevertheless, I got slightly drunk and did not mind the annoying booming sound of the bar. Oh! Didn't I say that the DJ was my high school classmate? He surely does not have good taste. The bar is located along the main road and party-goers are surely getting the pollution from the vehicles passing through. I was really trying my very best to observe to at least give them one compliment, but it was such an epic fail. I am sorry but all I am saying is that the bar has to improve. </div><div><br />
</div><div>Fast forwarding this horrible experience, and seeing the 'kind-of-good' side of the night, I met up with some of my old friends. Saw some familiar faces and I felt like I was on my teenies. Cousin had to went home at 2 am and I opted to stay there, unbelievably I stayed there for some more hours. I was with cousin's friend and she invited some of her friends to seat with us. It was <span style="background-color: transparent;">actually</span><span style="background-color: transparent;"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent;">nice mingling with them but I decided to go home. When one girl showed up and messed my messed life. </span></div><div><span style="background-color: transparent;"><br />
</span></div><div><span style="background-color: transparent;">She is an old friend and we got to know more each other when we both ran for SK. I so much admire this girl despite the reputation she has in our place. I must say that you would not like her but I saw something different that made me somewhat blush. But time passed and we went separate ways. </span></div><div><span style="background-color: transparent;"><br />
</span></div><div>I saw her with someone I thought her date. I completely transformed into someone anew. Well, I think I have felt the same feeling I had felt towards her some years ago. For the first time, I exchanged kisses with a girl. (DISCLAIMER: THE KISSES ARE ON CHEEKS NOT ON LIPS). It was around 5am when I decided to leave the bar and head home when suddenly she, the girl this post is meant for, shouted my name and called me. She wanted to go home with me. Well, me pretending to be a gentleman took her to my pad and bought her toothbrush as she requested. We slept together in my bed and I was hugging her. That was the first time I have done it in my entire life. Never did I hug my mom like that. </div><div><br />
</div><div>For the record, nothing has happened. I mean, seriously nothing has happened. Was I too drunk or have I just respected her? I felt something and readied myself for a battle but I have lost all of them when I thought of the effect a 10-minute pleasure may impart us. I so much felt the urge, the erection was present but I have not done anything. I may be capable of doing it that time since I have been longing for it quite a while now but there was this one thing that forced me to not do it. RESPECT, not the gayness or what but I see every woman as fragile. But I must admit I enjoyed sleeping with her. </div><div><br />
</div><div>After some hours, she woke me up and asked me if we can go home. As we walked, she held my hand and became too much sweet. I almost felt I am walking with a girlfriend. She has given me a different kind of blush no man has given me. When we parted ways, she kissed me and thanked me. I kissed back and told her to take care of herself. </div><div><br />
</div><div>Why am I so much affected? Why am I composing this blog about what has happened? Why was I too excited when I received SMS from her? </div><div><br />
</div><div>To be continued. ..</div>Marcushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16590027164832002515noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3156022754470136837.post-11418171415190078672012-03-18T07:11:00.000-07:002012-03-18T07:11:03.169-07:00Where do I begin?Writing this would have been more fun if I have music on the side. But since it is useless at this very moment, I had to endure the pain of doing it without a little something that keeps me motivated.<div><br />
</div><div>Last Friday Night....</div><div><br />
</div><div>My dear slash glam friend from my recent workplace and I went to Eastwood to meet up with our third sister. My friend and I have not seen our third sister for the longest time. She has spent much of her time and affection to her former boyfriend (Well, they just broke up!). To ignore the part where our third sister has to reign, we partied at Agave. We have started partying at around past seven in the evening. As expected, since the three glam and fab individuals have met, the night has turned out to be something different. </div><div><br />
</div><div>My friend and I have ordered unlimited glass of Margarita, well apparently they call it bottomless Margarita, and our dear sister has opted to quaff Tanduay Ice. It was so wonderful up until late midnight. Not noticing the amount of Margarita I have gulped, things around me have started to revolve and look differently. Gotcha! I am officially under the influence of 10 big glasses of Margaritas. I puked and yes! I could no longer walk straight. </div><div><br />
</div><div>My friend was so gentleman enough to drop me off few metres away from my place. I swear! Margarita did a good job in making moi really and terribly drunk. </div><div><br />
</div><div>The day after....</div><div><br />
</div><div>I underwent a very bloody prophylaxis. It was the very first time I bled like hell. I did not love it as much as how I loved the very first time it was done to me. The result? I now have a shining shimmering splendid smile. LOL!</div><div><br />
</div><div>Love?</div><div><br />
</div><div>This will be somewhat sentimental as it is love, that did not make sense. Nevertheless, let me share it to you my blog.</div><div><br />
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</div><div>As a living creature of God, I also long for someone that can love me albeit it is not the way how I wanted to be loved. This has always been a part of my prayers and has long wished for it. I know I can live even without the presence of someone in my life. Just recently, t<span style="background-color: transparent;">his particular aspect that I wish for has been granted. Someone that I have just known and met has stood tall and showed off his manliness. This someone has given me a different affection that I have only felt with my formers. </span></div><div><span style="background-color: transparent;"><br />
</span></div><div>I can say he is neither my type nor my preference as a partner, but he showed me something beyond his looks, words and whatever! Consistently sent me text messages, updated me about his whereabouts and even if he has had to take either his brekky, lunch or dinner, he has never forgotten to send me a text message. So, I felt like 'Is this really true?' </div><div><br />
</div><div>You know, if you came from a not-so-good break up, it will be hard for you to open up your heart again to someone. I have learned that, and I always advise this to my friends, before you enter a relationship and love someone, make sure that you impeccably know how and why you are loving yourself. We must give value first to ourselves before appreciating the value of others. We must allow ourselves to grow first so that by the time we are ready to share ourselves with someone, we already know the basics of love and life. </div><div><br />
</div><div>It took so many nights before I came up with a very heartbreaking decision. I did not know whether it was for good or what but all I knew that time was I am firm and I need not to be cessated. So, I ended everything. I know what I did was unfair but I just did not find any reason and advantage of being with someone at the wrong time. Since then, I have not replied to any of messages and deleted his number. If by any chance that this person will lurk on my page and read this, please accept my apologies. It was never my intention to hurt you but understand that I do not want to prolong something that I foresee will not grow as how you are perceiving it. I know you have so much loved me in a very short time we have had, but I know I do not deserve the love you have offered. Thank you so much!</div><div><br />
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</div><div>Moving on...</div><div><br />
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</div><div>I can not deny the fact that I have never been this happy. I feel complete despite all the imperfections of everyday. I grew so much and transformed myself into someone I never thought I would be. I appreciate little things that come across everyday. </div><div><br />
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</div>Marcushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16590027164832002515noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3156022754470136837.post-10165872670502799162012-01-07T02:59:00.000-08:002012-12-11T04:13:16.197-08:00Sad but not so sad.2011 has ended quite harsh. Well, I really would want to narrate it but it will only break me reminiscing the mishaps I am coping with. Sad? yes! but still moving on. I have learned that there is more to life than sadness and desolation. This life is giving me challenges that I merely survive. Challenges that give me courage to fight and walk with pride. Challenges that I have never imagined nor dreamt of. There are times that I am thinking of giving up and just walk away. But I know that doing so will only prove that quitters are losers.<br />
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I wish I can press rewind and turn back time where I still have my Mom and Dad. I know that I was raised well despite their absence. However, I know that I will be more than raised well if only I had them with me during trying times. Why do I always have to understand things? Why can't I be understood? Why do I always need to adjust? Why can't they adjust? I know that ranting this pathetic lines will only bring nothing but tears. Oh! gosh! This entry is getting emotional- well what's new? </div>
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Most say that I am smart. Most believe that I can cope with almost everything easily. Most know that I am a fighter. Most see me as a funny guy. I wish I can be that person that they are expecting to be. Not most know, I also shed tears whenever lonesome deteriorates me. I also know how to get hurt. </div>
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So now, I am playing three roles. A Mother, a Father and a Brother. I have to embody these three personas to be able to survive. It is not easy, believe me. I am sending my brother to school, provide him everything he needs, give him a righteous life and provide him the love he never experienced from the other personas I am portraying. I do the laundry, iron our clothes, prepare our foods, work for our needs and all that. I know I also have to live my own life. I manage work wisely, I mingle with my friends, I sometimes go out and I blog. In spite of that, I still feel incomplete. Hence, this is the reason why I sometimes feel lonely. But I know I can live without it. Diversion of attention is the key. It should not distract and hinder me from reaching my goals. </div>
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This is an another predicament entry. </div>
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May this year be my year! I am very positive that I will be complete in time. </div>
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Happy New Year Everyone!<br />
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Marcushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16590027164832002515noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3156022754470136837.post-90617014499271897122011-11-13T06:27:00.000-08:002011-11-13T06:36:17.037-08:00BIR Experiences. What should I expect?This is one of my most-hate part of landing / getting a new job- completing pre-employment requirements. I hate the medical examination, I hate the NBI application, I hate almost everything. So to cut the story short- which was ruined by hassling getting-this and getting-that- I have gone to BIR RDO 43-A (LOL!)<br />
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I was there at around 4:00PM. There were three allocated desks which service general inquiries like mine- getting TIN Card. The Security Guard handed me number 48. Since it was just my first time going on that kinda place- which smells like a publishing house- I asked Manong Guard <i>'Kuya what is this for po?' </i>and he answered "<i>Ay para po yan sa number ninyo. Tingin lang po kayo dun sa may number na red and you will know if it's your turn.</i>" and I was like "<i>Okay. Thanks.</i>" So I filled out a form and headed to the waiting lounge- luckily they have.<br />
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On the waiting lounge, I saw pile of people waiting for their number to be prompted on the monitor positioned on top of the three desks which I have mentioned earlier. I was holding number 48 whereas the number prompted at that time was just number two. I would have to wait for 46 more peeps to finish before my turn. So I glanced and looked around. At first sight, you will notice a heaps of paper scattered everywhere. There are so many things which will make you uncomfortable with that place. The smell is so loathsome. Yes it has AC but with that volume of people, it does nothing.<br />
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So came 4:58PM, and two more minutes they were about to close the operation, the number prompting has stopped. It has prompted number 47 for almost 10 minutes. I was in a big disappointment at that time and I could no longer hold it back. In my mind, I had almost cursed the three clerks who did nothing but put stamps on papers. I felt so disconcerted that I knew I had to do something. I did not go there just to be advised to go back on Monday- since it was Friday when I went there. So I gazed the whole vicinity and something was not right. This girl, who kept on going back for whatever her reasons was, caught my attention. She kept on going back to the second clerk. So, with so much animosity and frustration, I stood up. Below is how our conversation fired up the people who witnessed how mad I was. (DISCLAIMER: I am neither happy nor proud about it. It was just a normal reaction coming from someone who feels discombobulated.)<br />
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Me: Ma'am excuse me, may I know what number you are holding?<br />
Her: (Searching for a piece of paper inside her cheap bag) 57!<br />
Me: Oh! Okay! So you must know that the number was stuck-up to 47 because of you and I am expected to be seated on the chair you are seating right now. I was provided with number 48 by the guards and was in this place for almost an hour now.<br />
Her: Ooops! I am sorry. I just need to finish this one. (Showing me a rim of form from BIR)<br />
Me: So are you implying that I need to wait and the rest of us here for you to finish before we can be serviced?<br />
Her: No. (Giving me a fierce look)<br />
Me: So do you think I will allow you to be on that seat considering that I have been here waiting for almost an hour now?<br />
Her: No! (Shouting)<br />
Me: With all due respect Ma'am, will you please get out of that chair and wait for your number be prompted on that monitor on top of your head?<br />
Her: You are rude!<br />
Me: Good thing your brain was able to generate an adjective that best describes how I treated someone as dumb as you that even numbers 1-48 does not know.<br />
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And she walked away with so much frustration and side comments. And for whoever who is going to read this, we conversed (or should I say "argued") using the English language. Those are the exact words that came out of my lips as far as my audiographic memory can remember. I am so pissed.<br />
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Fast-forwarding what happened next and disregarding how the guards consoled me, I sat on the chair where the biatch was sitting. I informed the clerk that I am going to get my TIN Card. So I handed him filled out form.<br />
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Clerk: Nagalit kayo dun Sir ah.<br />
Me: Kasi naman simpleng number rules lang hindi pa niya masunod. Anyway, I don't want to talk about it na po. (Handing him my filled out form)<br />
Clerk: Pasensya na Sir ah.<br />
Me: That's fine. It's not even your mistake.<br />
Clerk: Kayo ba ito Sir? (Checking if I had filled out the form correctly) Ah, binata pa pala kayo. Ingat kayo Sir. Mga ganyang hitsura ang habulin.<br />
Me: (Giving him this dumbfounded look) Huh?<br />
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And he just smiled.Marcushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16590027164832002515noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3156022754470136837.post-62173522868662522162011-10-30T07:01:00.000-07:002011-10-30T07:01:21.490-07:00My Grown up Christmas List.So there goes sadness again. It won over happiness. It is driving me to contemplate for another entry on my blog site. As I rummaged for thoughts to blog, I opened You Tube and searched for a back ground song to play while writing. Out of nowhere, a Christmas song has started to play. It made me reminisce all the past Christmases I had.<br />
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I asked myself what do I miss whenever the holiday season comes. I started reminiscing and none of them are worth remembering. It was either I am in the office working or at home alone. Suddenly an idea has popped up out of my mind.<br />
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I was, I guess, 4 to 6 years old that time. Christmas was the happiest time of the year for me. Presents, candy canes, gift wrappers, glittered ribbons, tall Christmas trees, entertaining Christmas lights in different colors and styles were everywhere. Streets were filled with different designs of <i>"Parols". </i>Cousins have visited me to exchange gifts. My heart was full of happiness.<br />
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It was the 24th of December. Mom prepared foods that are bizarre to my sight. Foods that could only be seen during my birthdays and whenever we attend parties of my playmates. Mom decorated the house. She had rummaged the curtains she only displays once a year. The house was full of excitement and colors which reminded me that it was not just an ordinary day. Mom played a Christmas song. She held me and we danced like crazy. I saw Mom's heart-pounding joy. I whispered <i>"I wish everyday is a Christmas day"</i><br />
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Pop came home late, I inferred he was drunk. I saw the redness in his face and he was somewhat like mad. Mom greeted him. Pop ignored. I thought there was a problem. Minutes after, I saw Pop screaming. He shouted and gone wild. I saw Mom sobbing. She covered her face so that I would not witness how she cried. Pop continued to shout. He even slapped Mom. At a very young age, I could not comprehend how an impeccable day turned out to be somewhat gruesome. Mom said nothing. She continued to cry while Pop was ranting. I could not do anything but to watch them fighting from afar. I felt so helpless. I felt so despondent. There was a short pause. I heard nothing but the Christmas song being played. Suddenly, a pause was broken by the sound of a falling plates and silver wares. I saw the prepared and cooked foods of Mom scattered on the floor. The place was topsy-turvy. Pop, for the nth time, slapped Mom. She had lost her balance and fell down. I could see Mom crawling and begging Pop to stop. I witnessed her stopped moving. I asked myself "Has she lost her consciousness?"<br />
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I saw the bloods scattered everywhere. I witnessed the pain and sufferings. That night was just so horrifying. Tears have fallen down on my eyes. I could not move. I could not think. I could not breathe.<br />
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I was awaken by the annoying siren of the ambulance. "What is happening?" I asked someone. Police, bystanders, neighbors, and some relatives were there telling me to just rest. I saw guys in uniform holding something. It was a bed-like thing covered with a white cloth. One by one, they load them inside the ambulance. I looked around. I searched for Mom and Pop. They were not there. I saw my little cousin approaching. She asked me <i>"What did you do? Why did you do that?......." </i>and she was pulled away by her Mom crying. I rested and I slept.<br />
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It was 9:30 in the morning when I woke up. I saw gifts and basket of fruits on the table on my left. I saw nothing but the Air Con, a TV set hanged on top of a small window, a big bed to which I was lying, bottled waters and a dextrose thrusted on my left hand. "I am in the hospital!" I confirmed to myself. I shouted Mom's name. No one answered but someone opened the door. It was my Aunt who entered the room. She was crying. I asked her "Why?" but she did not respond. Another man, which I suspected one of the uniformed guys from last night, has entered the room. He said "Merry Christmas!" and smiled.<br />
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He asked me if I have had good sleep. I quickly answered "Yes!" and stared at my Aunt. The uniformed guy continued to ask me. He wanted me to remember and narrate what happened last night. I asked where Mom and Pop is. Aunt started to cry and left the room. The guy answered "They are already dead." I did not believe but I cried until I ran out of tears. I asked the uniformed guy "Who killed them?". I was shocked when he answered "You!". "You killed your Father and Mother using this gun" , he added. He was holding a ziploc-like plastic container and inside it was a gun. He started to interrogate me until I began remembering what happened the night before.<br />
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<blockquote class="tr_bq"><i>"Stop it!" I shouted Pop. "Don't dare get out of your room or you will be in trouble!", he exclaimed. I headed towards Mom and held her hand. Pop kicked me. He pushed me to their room and locked the door. I was so desperate. I knew I had to help Mom. I was aware how painful she feels that time and that she needs me. I looked for something. I saw Pop's gun inside his mini pedestal. I put it inside my pocket and tried to unlock the door. I got out of the room. I shouted "Pop, stop it! I repeat!" He answered "I said do not go out! You little bastard! I will punish you!" Dad then walked heading on my direction. He was holding a baseball bat. He saw me holding his gun. He begged me to put it down. I remained firm. I cried and accidentally hit the trigger. Dad fell down. A moment of silence was finally observed. The only thing I heard was the song being played. <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">"Chestnuts roasting on an open fire....."</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> </span></blockquote><br />
16 Christmases have passed by. 16 years of tears have gone dry. It was just like yesterday. I can still hear the painful roars of yesteryears. The perfect yet sorrowful picture of crime is still in my dreams. I can still smell the blood like a breeze. The painful past will never disappear. How many more December 25 should pass? How many more questions to ask? How many more tears should shed? I feel like a corpse. I feel like dead.<br />
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20 years of living is like 20 years of suffering. Now, Christmas is about to come. I feel the breeze, I feel the coldness, I feel the sadness, I feel the emptiness. I do not wish for toys, presents, money or anything that money can give and buy. All I wish for is the same Family I used to have and enjoy 16 years ago. <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">This is my grown up Christmas list.</span>Marcushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16590027164832002515noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3156022754470136837.post-91823251227758179862011-03-20T20:57:00.000-07:002011-10-22T04:25:31.093-07:00The happiness that makes me sad..Emoness.. Yeah! It struck me again.<br />
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The past week was one of the crucial week that I had on my entire living in this world. Well, almost every week is crucial but this one is different. I mean really different. I have experienced lots of agony. I have accepted the fact long time ago that things in this world cannot be perfect no matter how hard we try to make it impeccable. I also have accepted the "mere" fact that we, humans, will not be contented despite of the things and happiness that we have. It is only and will only be my friend "Mahatma Gandhi" who possesses that kind of attitude. Going back to my emoness, the last week tested my humanity and the friendships that I gained and earned for almost 19 years of my life. I've been absent for five days last week from March 14- March 19 due to my emoness and not sickness. <br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><strong>Exploring and uncovering the brighter side of each dark side.</strong></span> <br />
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I was sitting on a place where different types of people meet and gather. It was a very dreary night. Not the typical night that I know of, not the typical night that we all know of. Just like time, people passed by so fast. They headed to different directions of their emotions. It is a place for fun that suddenly turned into something strange making my emotions weak. Tears fell down and yes! my faith have broken down too. I've seen nothing but just the falling leaves from the nearby tree. People stared at me. They must have noticed me crying. They must have witnessed part of my weakness. It was so theatrical. It was so dramatic. I, indeed, looked so pathetic. With the emptiness in my head, I walked. Nothing's inside my head. Not even my pets, not even my thoughts for blogging, not even my wild sex scenes, not even my love fantasy and most especially, not even myself. I was walking like a corpse. I've felt nothing and heard nothing but just the hum I kept singing in my mind. I felt so meaningless. As night goes by, my mind flies. It was as sadden as the catastrophe that rocks Japan. The only question in my mind that time was "HOW WILL I COPE? HOW WILL I RECOVER?". I realized that even if I think of it a billion times, that even if the moon will come down and tell me "Sleep now my dear.." ,answer is not yet ready to be prevailed so I wander instead. Not so long time ago, I've been like this- I've been into this. I have never learned. I'm such a fool. I admit, I have to be reprimanded. I know for a fact that it is not the end, it will not be the end and it is infinite. Just like what they say, HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF, and it keeps on repeating for no particular reason. I have endured suffering for my own mistakes, have been punished for the faults I made, have been reprimanded for not having faith, have been scolded for not listening to what they say. How can a human say he or she is complete? How can an individual prove that he or she is worth it? How can we know what we worth? If living is as hard as struggling to the waves of the ocean and as harsh as the roaring thunder then leaving will be as easy as 1-2-3. It will be as easy as A-B-C. Now, I am looking for someone who can stand tall and have stood tall for something they believe in. Regardless if it's right or not as long as he or she believes, I salute you. I wanna be like you. I wanna stand for something I believe even if it's unbelievable. I am a prisoner of my own thoughts, I am jailed with my thoughts and my own thoughts are killing me. I wanna be free.<br />
How can someone be free as how they wanted to be?Marcushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16590027164832002515noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3156022754470136837.post-55130644154818755562011-02-04T22:55:00.000-08:002012-12-11T04:15:22.075-08:00Baguio getaway....<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtzuzANQ4HFsv1SHx2_Eng5XFPIkIb4I8jMSkaX4JQPgesD7BP6u-phWeHONcc_BK0h_o9hcDai9o4M-6SGnIQyaF9CAcivBzn4iYjC2g-YdDCFPJUrQpDmUUiCFLWE1GUPjwiylGnurP1/s1600/MARCUS.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="243" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtzuzANQ4HFsv1SHx2_Eng5XFPIkIb4I8jMSkaX4JQPgesD7BP6u-phWeHONcc_BK0h_o9hcDai9o4M-6SGnIQyaF9CAcivBzn4iYjC2g-YdDCFPJUrQpDmUUiCFLWE1GUPjwiylGnurP1/s320/MARCUS.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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I just love Baguio (BA_GI_YO -just like how my foreigner friend pronounced it) With this so much love in my heart, I was thinking of moving there for good and living my life to the fullest without being forced and living the real life a real human should feel and experience...Me and my officemates stayed there for 3 days and 2 nights and I, personally, concluded that those days and nights are not enough to experience what Baguio offers us (as a tourist). I enjoyed the food, experience and the fun I had for that short period of time. 'Zipline' was good and to be honest, it was just my first time riding on that flying thing that made my heart and my body feel so numb. I really really enjoyed it.. If there is a place that I would like to settle down - so far- it's going to be, Baguio.</div>
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Anyway, so much for appreciation and all that thing. How's life Marcus? How's the air you breathe and the people that sorround you? How's work? How's bloglife? Well, it made me jump- literally, when I found out that from 2 followers I now have 5..haha..good job! </div>
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There you go..I am happy now..I mean happier..I am being paid well by my job and I feel like every single night that I am awake is equally paid off. I just love my life now..Can't wait to see Baguio again..Till next time dear Blog..Byee..:0</div>
Marcushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16590027164832002515noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3156022754470136837.post-49278029121759865632010-11-07T05:38:00.001-08:002010-11-07T05:38:24.045-08:00Back from a long hiatus...The last time that I have visited this blogspot was a month ago. I have been too busy in my personal life, career and "sort of" love lives- but I don't want to talk about love lives. I have concluded that they will just add shit* in my fucking life. Well, as regards with my career, I am now with Sykes. Compensations are great and am now in the 2nd week of training for an American TelCo account. With regard to my personal life, I am still alive and kicking- as usual. I am still trying to cope up with things I never thought I will encounter.<br />
<br />
<br />
Okay! I am lost...I can't write anything. I can't think of anything. I am not motivated. All I'm hearing now is the voice of my cousin narrating his feelings about his nanny. His nanny's laundry wash. He doesn't like it obviously. Now he is talking about the bottomless iced tea he and his colleagues used to enjoy whenever they are thirsty and free. Anyway, the past month of my life was considerably one of the most exciting and tiring month of my life. I enjoyed that because I was with my "kapatid" yang.<br />
<br />
Anyway, I blogged because I am about to publish the part one of my own story/ creation. I have done this during our training at Sykes. Since our trainer was busy discussing something. I have taken advantage of that time to do this. Here it goes...<br />
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<div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b><br />
</b></div><div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>The day of our greatest bereavement.</b></div>Part 1.<br />
Original composition of Marcus.<br />
<br />
<br />
It was dark, boisterous, cold and frightening.<br />
The only light that you can see is the light coming from a candle that shines for almost fourth part of the room.<br />
There were screams, shouts and cries that covered the whole place.<br />
You will hear nothing but just those sounds.<br />
It was horrible.<br />
Everyone seemed to die as every minute passes by. <br />
Sounds started to rise as if it intends to break our ears.<br />
<br />
It's still dark.<br />
Darkness covered our eyes and our hopes.<br />
Scattered pieces of peace and leaves were on the floor.<br />
The candle from afar has started to lose it's light.<br />
It's lux has gone, our light has gone.<br />
Cold wind is what were breathing in and out.<br />
Freight reigned all over the place; Monsters eating our faith.<br />
A sudden silence was observed.<br />
In a flash of light, sound deserts.<br />
A sudden silence turned into hours and years.<br />
No one attempted to speak nor breathe.<br />
Some died with words unspoken.<br />
Some left with grief unexpressed.<br />
I remained silent.<br />
Almost everybody remained silent.<br />
I remained standing while everyone was sitting.<br />
I remained hoping when everyone was floating.<br />
<br />
Years and years have passed by.<br />
Tears and tears have gone dry.<br />
From millions to thousands and now zeroes, no one stood up for it's people.<br />
I cried, I sighed and I hide.<br />
The feelings just let them go by.<br />
I kneeled, I bleed and I tried.<br />
But no one remained alive to fight back.<br />
Again, my heart remained calm.<br />
Hoping that there will be no harm.<br />
I again gazed the whole nation.<br />
Crowd was full of depression.<br />
I can't remember the fear it brought me seeing my peers are dreary.<br />
Oblivion starts to fall down.<br />
They have forgotten the ways they should have taken.<br />
They have missed the trains they should have boarded.<br />
Fears and tears collided; Sweats and breathes were controlled.<br />
<br />
I wandered.<br />
I explored the whole area.<br />
I have gone out of the room.<br />
I have seen bloody soldiers holding their guns.<br />
They shouted "Kalayaan!" -that sounds so unfamiliar.<br />
I touched their heads and they started to die.<br />
I have seen traces of punishments, drought, sufferings and maltreatments.<br />
Their bloody bodies covered the entire place.<br />
I have seen red, white and blue cloths and covered it to their bodies.<br />
They cried and summoned for help.<br />
Another man shouted "Kalayaan!" I asked him "What is that?"<br />
He was shocked!- as if he had seen a monster that will suddenly eat him. <br />
I ignored; I walked again.<br />
From the distance, I see pile of people for decapitation.<br />
I headed to that place.<br />
I was shocked! I have cried and I screamed. <br />
Poor people are next to the list.<br />
I tried to shout in as loud as I can but it seems like no one cares.<br />
They continued to decapitate vigilant.<br />
They seemed to be so arrogant.<br />
They laughed and laughed while watching blood drops.<br />
I heard someone saying "Maawa!" of which I am not familiar of.<br />
I asked one of the soldiers "What is maawa?".<br />
He told me "This is what you want!"<br />
<br />
<br />
I was like day- dreaming.<br />
It's more than sleep- walking.<br />
It's more of trouble- sleeping.<br />
I observed the surrounding.<br />
I asked myself what was happening.<br />
Rain started to pour. <br />
Every drops weighed as if it's a mourn.<br />
I heard thunders and roars; Just like a screaming whores.<br />
Do you know what was that for?<br />
I also have seen groups of people protecting themselves using umbrellas.<br />
Unlike others, they are well- guarded of big men wearing tuxes.<br />
They have seemed to hide social- secrets behind the fences.<br />
I wandered.<br />
<br />
<br />
I have seen pieces of bread.<br />
Different colors and "I guess" different flavors.<br />
There were blue, green, red. yellow and black.<br />
I picked up the green one with a brand name ANIMO!<br />
Next, I tasted the blue one labeled ONE BIG FIGHT!<br />
and finally I was choked by the red one named UNIBERSIDAD!<br />
I have seen individuals craving for the green and blue breads.<br />
They throwed red breads as a sign of somewhat like Protest!<br />
They even said "Ibaba!" and "Makibaka!" and again I don't know them.<br />
I walked and observed the whole vicinity.<br />
It was covered by sort of obscenity.<br />
Young girls walking shirtless, young boy sleeping shortless.<br />
I wandered.<br />
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{to be continued}...Marcushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16590027164832002515noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3156022754470136837.post-29729108967632813152010-10-03T12:41:00.000-07:002012-12-11T04:16:28.612-08:00I don't know..This will really be very simple.<br />
<br />
Since my last break up slash heartache, I can now breathe and express myself in a manner that I know I will be better comprehend. I am wilder, a more skilled Marcus and a more responsible one. Have explored the world to which I couldn't believe I belonged and embraced. I am wiser now. I know now how to play the game and follow its rules. I am a less vulnerable creation. Heartache and failure molded me to be someone like this. It taught me things I have learned even before.<br />
<br />
Now, someone is inspiring me. F*ck! here I am again.<br />
<br />
Be careful!Marcushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16590027164832002515noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3156022754470136837.post-19228322004327942322010-09-20T03:02:00.000-07:002012-02-08T00:36:18.278-08:00Just a glimpse, my life changed...I know I had shortcomings this past days. I had been too irresponsible in both personal and career lives. I became self centered, selfish, greedy- with my emotions- and in love. Yes! Marcus is indeed in love. After a not so long time, here I go again exploring the world of love. I know I have been through all of this but as a part of my humanism I have to feel it again- I know! <br />
<br />
I am in love with someone I thought I wouldn't be in love. It was really funny how our separated paths crossed. It is true that love moves in mysterious ways. I just like this- I mean being in love. I am willing to take all it's consequences for I love this person. I tried not to admit it but it bursts with joy and happiness.<br />
<br />
I know it's too early to see you in this view but i am hoping that this- I mean OUR- love will grow. For now, I am enjoying and savoring our camaraderie, our love for each other and each moment I am with you. You might not be aware of this but just in case you are interested, your hugs are my shelter and your kisses are my protection. I can't find an impeccable word to describe this but you are really so irresistible. If this is just a dream, then I won't wake up. Every time I close my eyes, it's you that I see. Every time I am seeing myself in the mirror, it's your reflection that I am visualizing. Reminding me of the times I am in your cradle. It's funny how you are driving me crazy. I even sneaked out of our house at 3AM just to be with you, just to feel your heartbeat next to mine, just to sniff your scent, just to taste your lips and not just to love you but to be loved as well. You made me realize that I am important, that I also deserve to be loved and most specially that I can love. Every time my cellphone rings, it's your name that I am expecting to see. Every time I sleep, it's you that I want to dream of. <br />
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I am madly, deeply and crazily in love with you. I am yours..Marcushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16590027164832002515noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3156022754470136837.post-56134581764428403592010-09-09T01:40:00.000-07:002010-09-09T01:51:50.685-07:00I am missing you Mom...Gone are the frustrations. Gone are the soliloquies. Gone are the sad songs that I've been hearing. Gone are the feelings of lonerism in me. But one thing remained, the scar it brought and hurt me. As I have tried to calm and heal myself, these two things are pulling me back to the anger I've felt yesterday. Thousands of sorries from you won't heal my broken dignity. You have - somehow- degraded me. You made me realize that respect should not be given to everyone, that respect should be nurtured not in a single moment but in a long-time processed and lastly, that respect once broken cannot be mended easily. I tell you, I may forgive but I never forget. <br />
Moving on, I am recovering. With the help of my friends, who watched cinema with me last night, I know I am starting to shape up myself again. Damn you! this is so much attention that I am giving you. Gotta get over it!<br />
<br />
I guess that two paragraphs are enough for me to say I was really mad at you. Dumb me! Hey! Marcus what is happening? you just created the 3rd paragraph? Lol! this is where it will end.<br />
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For today's post, I want to narrate the dream that ruined my sleep last night. Unfortunately, I cannot remember it. Wait let me do back-tracking..... :)<br />
<br />
Still remembering....<br />
<br />
Still...<br />
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Damn! I really cannot. I am so sorry.<br />
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Okay! I am giving up but wait! I guess this may interest you. <br />
<br />
Have you ever experienced a dream that whenever you and your friends are chatting about nightmares and stuffs similar to that, there is always this first thing/ dream that instantly pops out of your mind? Well, this may sound a bit creepy and funny and I should say theatrical but this is really no joke. It happened to me I guess a month ago.<br />
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Just got home from office, it was probably 11 in the evening and I was kind of tired so I sat down to our couch and relax myself with my Ipod. After doing my nightly habit- tooth brushing, bathing, eating and so on, I headed to my bed and sleep. <br />
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That night was different, it was sultry, it was dark- of course, I mean a different kind of dark.<br />
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I was in the middle of a glass rooms. People in black tuxedos and formal dresses were going in and out of a somewhat like vast audio visual room and office rooms. I gazed and observed the place. People are like in a sad mood and most of them are wearing black. I heard cries..deep cries and small chit-chats which seems like everyone was reminiscing someone or something. I remained silent so that I won't be notified. I managed little walks. I headed to the place where people are going in and out. The place was well lighted, embellished with different flowers and ornamented with different curtains and I am correct people are indeed crying. I saw a pile of people heading in the middle of somewhere, I followed. The thing in the middle shocked me. It was a casket. A wooden brown casket that looks like made in Narra. It was beautiful though. The casket was surrounded by different kinds of flowers. I gazed the casket and was amazed. I stood on my toe to see who's inside. I was terrified, shocked and shouted, cried and screamed. It was a lady- a beautiful lady. The lady was wearing a beautiful red gown. She has fair complexion. Her hair was perfectly teased and combed. She was undeniably beautiful.<br />
<br />
Then why did I shout?<br />
<br />
There were two things that made me shout and terrified. First was, the lady opened her eyes when I looked at her. Secondly, it was my Mother. <br />
<br />
I ran outside. I ran and have gone back to the place where I first found myself. Again, the place was not covered with anything. It was just a plain room made of glass so you'll see everything outside. The light was turning on and off. Inside, I have seen one of my friend. She was with me and comforting and asking me why I am going that way. I was screaming, yelling and terrified. There was a sudden pause. I heard nothing. I have seen the lady in the coffin passing the hallway. She was going back and forth. As she goes back and forth, my heart beats faster and faster, louder and louder and I hardly breathe. She paused in middle, she stared at me, looked at me and gazed at me. She had her eyes torned on me. After a minute or two, she disappeared. At that point I realized that she was not walking. Her feet literally did not touch the floor. The light turned on at last. When I ran outside, I bumped in on my Uncle. He asked me why I am leaving, "your mother is about to be buried" he added. I can't believe. I heard loud voices, different voices and have seen different faces eyeing at me. I can't believe, I really can't believe. I was crying, bemoaning and in great depression. <br />
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At that point, luckily, I woke up. Perspiration covered my whole face and body making me wet. I gulped a glass of water. I was really terrified that I can't take that out of my mind. I couldn't get back to sleep as I am afraid it might happen to me again when I fell asleep. I grabbed my phone and noticed that it was just 3 AM. Inevitably, I slept again.<br />
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That morning I narrated that story to my Tita. She felt frightened too. She told me that it might be because I am not visiting my Mother in the cemetery for- I guess- 3 years now. I felt worthless - as a son, but I am still amazed and thankful that I still witnessed her beautiness. <br />
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Mom, wherever you are. I always love you. You will always be right here in my heart and this is where you are always residing. I am missing you. Please guide and protect me and my li'l brother always. I always remember and reminisce the times that I am still sleeping in your cradle. I am missing everything from you. I may had-have different girls in my life but you will always be the most precious and loved one. I promise that this Soul's day I will be with you. Please wait for me Mama.Marcushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16590027164832002515noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3156022754470136837.post-54293023691079607012010-09-07T22:20:00.000-07:002010-09-07T22:20:37.676-07:00Giggles..I, again, had forced myself to wake up. With lots of butterflies in my stomach and an intense headache, I stood tall and headed to work. <br />
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<br />
Before narrating what happened in my work-life today, I just like to reminisce good things that happened to me last night with my cousins.<br />
<br />
Last night was the night that I had definitely missed. In relation to my previous post and as planned, we celebrated the birthday of my cousin. Cousins near to us gathered to celebrate not the birthday but to full their tummies with liquours and "pulutans". As per my instruction, they prepared my favorite finger food- Tofu and Pork. To be frank- I hope I won't hurt the feelings of my cousins and even my tita who cooked it- I did not enjoy the Tofu and Pork. The previous one they have prepared is way better as to compare. I enjoyed it though.<br />
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I was able to mingle with my long-time no-see cousins again. Now that we are grown ups and has our own jobs, we are now permitted to imbibe vodkas, beers and so many more- even infront of our Tita's who happens to be our number one enemy when we're youngsters. This is the real benefit of ageing (I don't know if I have to term it that way?!) -you are free to do such things. I just reminisced that when I still stands four feet, sniffing of liquours is the only thing I can do- that is without their eagle eyes. Our next drinking session will be held on Saturday which I personally believe I will surrender and will be the first one to raise the flag of giving up- Duh! hope it won't happen. May whoever help me out on Saturday.<br />
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I, indeed, enjoyed the night but like any other fairytale, after the winning moment there goes the irritating moments- yes it's with S.<br />
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________________________<br />
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Remember my "See life in a different point of view...- My blogspot post. Well, it actually pertained to a person that I am- from the very beggining- super irritated. It's a him- an old "him". I hate him because I know things between us will not work out, that paths of ours will never crossed and differences will never be patched. <br />
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This is how I exploded:<br />
<br />
Every morning after logging on to our Avaya- our time keeper something, I used to check out my facebook first and fill my tumbler with water in our pantry. It takes few minutes whenever I am doing them.<br />
<br />
Since it's my tradition, I have done it this day. It's near 9 AM so I headed out of our pantry and if I am not mistaken our pantry is located 20m away from my post, away from our bay. I heard a guy shouting in a barbaric way "Che (my supervisor) ano ba yan 9 na wala pa si Marcus sa post niya"..he repeated it twice. At that very moment my blood pounded my head and made me irrititated. You wanna know why? it is because it was not my supervisor who shouted. It was the old man whose compensation is lower than mine. It was the aged man who acts like a supervisor but cannot perfect his QA scores. It was the archaic poser that lives next to the flinstones. OMG! unknowingly my mouth uttered " Who the hell are you to shout that way? You are not my supervisor nor authorized to shout my name that loud..... " Banging of words continued but I basically cannot remember words I've uttered as those were the only words marked in my pounding brain.<br />
<br />
I remained composed and educated. I tried not to feel his presence but it was him who made me exploded again. He stressed uneducated words like plastic and a lot more that made me really angry. He also chats with his same old persona that is physically speaking I'm way better. I hate them. My friends on the next bay taught me to give him war. War that he initiated. Some told me to ignore those shits and most of them taught me to fight. They assured me that they are on my behind if ever I will be needing a help. Friends who pushed me to fight back yelled "Marcus hayaan mo na siya...feelingero kasi eh". He thought I was asking for help so when my friends sat down and get back to work. He simply said "Hindi ko kailangan ng kakampi".. At the back of my mind I said "Wow! do I look like I need companion in defeating archaic shit like him".<br />
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As I was composing this blog, I remained silent. He might think that I am giving up but a big hell NO! I'm just giving you this time. It's your chance and better be prepared for my time to explode- again. I know I should not be ruining my day for non-sense persons such you but I tell you the war has just begun. Doing this makes me look like I am giving you an attention but no it's not! This is simply because I am still angry. You are such a big crop.<br />
___________________________<br />
<br />
If there is- hopefully- someone who will be reading this post. I am not rude. Please don't be mislead with how I reacted today, I am just mad. Friends of mine will prove that I am a good person but I don't have to explain myself. You are a human also, so you must have known why I am feeling this way.<br />
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Advise to myself:<br />
<br />
Marcus please remain composed. They will just measure your humanism. Do not step down on their level. Again, nobody will love you the same way as how you are loving yourself. <br />
_______________________<br />
Oopss...I nearly forgot.<br />
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This is- so far- the quirkest thing happened to me today. <br />
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This morning, like my usual and daily routine, I rode in a jeepney going to the LRT. The jeepney was about to go when a lady boarded . She almost fell as she was just wearing a skirt. I had my eyes torned to her and found myself saying "She is beautiful, oh no pretty..oh no beautiful!" Damn! she looks like in her early 30's but god! she is freakingly hot!- not the hotties wearing short skirts, spaghetti straps or any alluring skimpy dresses, she is way hotter that them. She looks like an office girl. She is holding a cup of Taho but damn! she made me go bonkers!<br />
<br />
Haha...I am super happy. Wish I'll get to know her more. (In your dreams Marcus..) *giggles*Marcushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16590027164832002515noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3156022754470136837.post-24422453191949208972010-09-07T01:44:00.000-07:002010-09-07T01:47:51.510-07:00Let's get drunk...Here I go blogging again.<br />
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I haven't updated this for 2 days for I have been too busy. I enjoyed Sunday for I was just at home. I did not go anywhere else for I don't have money and am not in the mood of going somewhere. Anyhow, I still enjoyed it. I miss being a homebody, you don't have to think for anything, to consider things that are work related and to force yourself waking up early in the morning. I was able to do homey things such as cooking, playing with my nieces and nephews and a lot more that I have admittedly missed. I guess that day was not enough for me to feel the real homey feeling I am longing. <br />
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<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">This is the 7th day of the 1st -ber month and yet I still don't feel christmas. Usually before, houses near ours are being decorated at this very early time of the season. I guess that tradition our neighboors are practicing changed since last year when a cruel typhoon hit our place. It is still fresh in their minds, the destructions, the deaths, the aftermaths and the sudden change that typhoon brought our place. It was a horrible experience noone will ever forget. The typhoon that almost killed our loved ones and destroyed our properties have changed each and everyone's lives. Who would have thought that a normal Saturday will reveal it's wrath in an unexplainable way? Who would have believed that a typical rainy season will bring fatality rate in a formidable manner? Honestly speaking I was not able to feel the direct violence of typhoon Ondoy as I am not in our house that time, I was boarding near La Salle Manila and I was on the 5th floor. I was sleeping when I received a phone call informing me about the flood. It broke my heart knowing that they suffered from that unexpected violence. When I reached our house, I witnessed the fierce of Ondoy, our house was full of mud and chairs were everywhere. Jinky (+), our dog, spent the rest of her night on top of our roof together with my Uncle. When she saw me, she wiggled her tail and started to cry. She was like narrating what she have experienced for the whole night. I can see her sufferings through the traces of the mud that covered half of her body. You will still see traces of typhoon Ondoy in our house. I hope everyone have learned from that experience that no matter how rich or poor you are if it's of the wrath of nature that is attacking you, you better be prepared. Save the lives first before your properties. </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">I guess I may have posted this reminscing blog too early. But who knows- knock on wood- all we need to do is to be prepared. I am still looking forward that this will be a better christmas for me, my family and for everybody. </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
___________________________________________________</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
Today is the natal day of my cousin's spouse and as expected celebration follows. Beers will flood our stomachs and will drive us to bed. Wish they prepared my requested finger food- Tokwa't baboy (Tofu and Pork). I will not drink hard as I have to go to work tomorrow. As I have promised to myself, work is still my priority. </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Wishing for a better tomorrow. </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Animo Marcus!</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
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<div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0ur3d3oq76p7CVQPOrzIpe_uRKbVDMLrIbI_lU6eoKPAxtUepJS_GQg2OCvWAuOt65-EJoO4zxzFWSiPiE1uX_cLR4vFHy3ZjJ8FayXpyTqfmdrgnFpJ1nGC9p87juXXFBtZzlHd-UtEm/s1600/Marikina+during+Ondoy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" ox="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0ur3d3oq76p7CVQPOrzIpe_uRKbVDMLrIbI_lU6eoKPAxtUepJS_GQg2OCvWAuOt65-EJoO4zxzFWSiPiE1uX_cLR4vFHy3ZjJ8FayXpyTqfmdrgnFpJ1nGC9p87juXXFBtZzlHd-UtEm/s320/Marikina+during+Ondoy.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is how it looks like during Ondoy.<br />
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</tbody></table></div>Marcushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16590027164832002515noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3156022754470136837.post-77650585292159075152010-09-04T01:02:00.000-07:002012-02-08T00:40:22.069-08:00WordPress welcomed me.First day of using wordpress. <br />
At first I had troubles accessing the webpage itself. Able to sign in but cannot logged on. It was quite disappointing because all the time that I have been reading blogs of different people using wordpress, they seemed to be very satisfied and happy on how wordpress is performing, however, I do not have the right to complain. <br />
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As I have mentioned on the first stanza, I have been reading blogs of different people subscribed to wordpress for the past times that I dare not to remember. My most favorite blogsite that I accidentally accessed was http://marcuscanblog.wordpress.com or simply Marcus can blog- a cute little boy who absolutely posts blogs with the guide of his loving father. I salute his Daddy's undying love for him that even if he can't speak nor utter a single word, he can express his self.<br />
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Moving on, my undying love for writing drove me here to do blogging. My favorite past time is writing, wherever I am I make sure that I have my pencil and green apple notebook with me. I tell you I can live without my cellphone but not my pencil, notebook and Ipod- yes! they give me hope. Anyway, I can say that writing is a talent I have adopted from my ancestors. My Grannie is a writer in a publication office somewhere during her times, she is, indeed, a good writer and an influential leader. So much about her- she's 6 feet under, writing is my passion. It gives me a different point of view in life. It also allows me to express myself in a way that I think I will be better understand and comprehend. <br />
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Literally speaking, my handwriting is not that good. I do not know different strokes and never appreciated because of my handwriting nor never been a Secretary during my school days- I have not dreamt of being one either. Albeit of not being gifted when it comes to my handwriting, I have received various awards and recognitions because of my writings. I love Editorial writing and Copy reading or proof reading, these two are my fortes when it comes to journalism. But I guess blogging is way better than journalism, no stress, no rules, every opinion will be respected- except to those who can't fathom you, and you are working like a free-lancer writer who can do and write whatever they want under sun. Still my guess, the big difference of journalism and blogging is, blogging is more of a personal thing whereas journalism is more of a national thing..haha.forgive me.<br />
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Well I guess I am going too personal. Whenever I am writing blogs on my blogspot account, the story or context revolves around my agonies in life. Since I don't have friends that I can chat wth regarding my agonies, I am writing them down to atleast relieve the pain I am feeling. I don't know but I think blogging is my way of expressing myself. If you will get to know me better, I am a timid type of person. I will talk to you whenever I want and if ever I want. <br />
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Expect that in my blogs you'll see some my life's agonies and how I am being overwhelmed by them. <br />
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Much has been said I guess. <br />
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Blogspot believe me, I won't leave you..:)Marcushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16590027164832002515noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3156022754470136837.post-61248950907816796792010-09-02T02:47:00.000-07:002010-09-02T03:09:36.555-07:00See life in a different point of view...A rainy Thursday morning woke me up as I am in the middle of dreaming of something which I can't remember. It's really raining hard! too hard and I perfectly know that I will be late. As expected, damn! I am late again...few more points and career is over. I was welcomed with the smiles of my dear office mates so I was expecting that this will be the start of my recovery, start of a beautiful day though it was raining hard and the start of discovering what meaningful life means. <br />
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Logged on, filled my tumbler with cold water, connected my headset to the amplifier, checked out my facebook account and holla! I am now ready to take calls. <br />
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My day was rough, dreary, sad and for some reason- I guess, I will not be able to enjoy the day. I will not be able to see what meaningful life is, what beautiful day means and how to recover. Sad enough I just stayed on my post, finished my delayed collections works and read some of the blogs especially the Marcuscanblog. <br />
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Now, you might be thinking why I did not enjoy the day aside from the boring things I have done. Well, I was just thinking why people have to separate theirselves from humanities like them, how they can ignore people who are just sitting beside, in front, and at their back, how they can laugh out loud without even notifying the person what those laughs were for. I don't know?!, I might be just too observant but that's what and how I felt..I was like left behind.. Is it because they are of the same age that they know how to deal with each other? or Self-centeredness is just what I am feeling now? Duh! I am afraid I am a loner. Yeah! I know that there were times "lonerism" attacks me, I wanna be alone, don't want to talk to anyone, afraid of giving out suggestions, ideas and anything, don't want to be noticed..and the worse, don't want to exist because I feel like being so alone is the safest thing I can do. I don't care if they call me geek or whatever all I care is just me, myself and I.<br />
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Way back in high school, I only had 3 closest friends. They were the only people that I used to mingle, talk, giggle, laugh and study with. Though I also have couple of friends, schoolmates and classmates that I gave out my shining smiles, I think my 3 closest friends were the only classmates that I used to know most. I am not that "choosy"-as how they termed it, when it comes to choosing a friend but I believed that they are the only persons who passed my qualifications -the rest, so typical. When I worked, I tried to develop it and somehow, improved it. And I can say I am improving! from 3 now I got plenty, but I just don't know why I can't cope up to some of my colleague's attitudes. But I don't want them to ruin my day, don't want to think of them like they are too important and too special. Colleagues like them are just so annoying--not all the times but most of the times. There were times that I want to visit a Psychiatrist and ask them if I have problem(s)- emotionally, mentally and socially, but I am afraid they'll discover something that will trigger the hell and crop out of me. Don't I have the confidence to face the world? Am I just afraid of the fact that I might not be accepted and loved? Or am I just going crazy and emo? haha..Whatever..it's human nature! yeah! human nature Marcus!<br />
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Going back to the real world, I have just listened to my Supervisor's Top 5 errors her agents repeatedly incurring. This only explains how agents, regardless how aged you are in the industry, performs while with their headsets. It's unstoppable, nobody is perfect, even my trainers- including my most recent ones- had mistakes, but don't ask me why we need to practice please! I am tired of discussing things like this. Anyway, below is my inspirational song, whenever I feel weary, down and degraded I listen to it. This is actually not a typical inspirational songs that singers have to raised their voices to their highest level, it is actually a technodance full of meaning. Hope I will influence someone to like this too. <br />
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Point of View- DB Boulevard<br />
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I don't have a cent<br />
Will I pay my rent<br />
And even my car doesn't work<br />
Me and my man, he's the one<br />
To die for, we have split up<br />
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Can't you see, life's easy<br />
If you consider things<br />
From another point of view<br />
Ahhh, ah-ha yeah<br />
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In another way<br />
From another point of view<br />
Yeah, yeah, yeah, ahhh, ah-ha yeah<br />
In another way<br />
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From another point of view<br />
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I see life and lights<br />
All the colours of the world<br />
So beautiful won't you come with me<br />
I've seen birds and trees<br />
All the flowers of the world<br />
So beautiful won't you come with me<br />
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Ahhh, ah-ha yeah<br />
In another way<br />
From another point of view<br />
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Can't you see, life's easy<br />
If you consider things<br />
From another point of view<br />
Ahhh, ah-ha yeah<br />
In another way<br />
From another point of view<br />
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Good Evening world...Good Evening MarcusMarcushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16590027164832002515noreply@blogger.com0