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It has been raining for some days now. This is the time of the year when all I want to do is to just stay at home and watch the pouring rain flood the streets. Rain has started to inundate thirsty hearts yet dreary nights still linger.Nothing really goes on now but just the music that plays on my earphones.

Mind travels in nothingness.Soul sees vagueness. I am in the state of emptiness. This has already happened and will forever hunt me. This is a no ending beginning of non existence. This is the feeling I call 'hopeless'.

I am sad for no reason. I am gloomy for no reason. I get mad for a certain reason. I get excited for several reasons. These reasons define my existence.

If only I can foresee tomorrow, if only forgetting the past is as easy as glancing, if only the present is as impeccable as my imagination, life is one hell of a wonderful ride. 

My writing goes nowhere. Scribble. Non sense. Random. Boring. It goes to all the people who experience same thing every once in a while. I am nothing but a human being.

I realise I have been wearing a mask. A mask only me can visualise and see. A mask that changed my well-being, my true self and my portrayal. I have no plans of unmasking it. I enjoy every single day I wear it. I learned how to embrace and love it. This is the new Marcus that faces the world with a mask called 'Courage'. I am not perfect. I am far from being the best. I am neither a fourth of greatness. But with this mask, I am more than perfect. I see and appreciate things and people at their best. I feel internal greatness with whatever I do. I am satisfied. I am able to see different facets of life. 

Struggling to cap off this post beautifully. Challenged to put a good ending. Musing. 

'Till next time.

And give me this moment to rant.

For some weeks now, life gives me a lot of complications that neither me, nor anyone of you, will fathom. Complications that I never thought would give me repercussions no one can ever imagine. Life is really challenging me that to some extent, I feel unfair and unjust. But who am I to complain? This is life and no matter how I rant nor shout out loud that I do not want to live this kind of life, I am just a human whose life only revolves in his own comfort zone called 'home' and his bread and butter called 'work'. Words are not enough to express how these mishaps are effecting me deeply and thoroughly. I have been wanting a release. I have been longing for an impeccable execution. I have been dreaming for a bliss but all I am getting is always an abyss.


I truly believe end is about to come. End that will put a mark in all of these. End that will start a new beginning. End that will end things I started unknowingly. End that will end this despondency. End is now.