A rainy Thursday morning woke me up as I am in the middle of dreaming of something which I can't remember. It's really raining hard! too hard and I perfectly know that I will be late. As expected, damn! I am late again...few more points and career is over. I was welcomed with the smiles of my dear office mates so I was expecting that this will be the start of my recovery, start of a beautiful day though it was raining hard and the start of discovering what meaningful life means.
Logged on, filled my tumbler with cold water, connected my headset to the amplifier, checked out my facebook account and holla! I am now ready to take calls.
My day was rough, dreary, sad and for some reason- I guess, I will not be able to enjoy the day. I will not be able to see what meaningful life is, what beautiful day means and how to recover. Sad enough I just stayed on my post, finished my delayed collections works and read some of the blogs especially the Marcuscanblog.
Now, you might be thinking why I did not enjoy the day aside from the boring things I have done. Well, I was just thinking why people have to separate theirselves from humanities like them, how they can ignore people who are just sitting beside, in front, and at their back, how they can laugh out loud without even notifying the person what those laughs were for. I don't know?!, I might be just too observant but that's what and how I felt..I was like left behind.. Is it because they are of the same age that they know how to deal with each other? or Self-centeredness is just what I am feeling now? Duh! I am afraid I am a loner. Yeah! I know that there were times "lonerism" attacks me, I wanna be alone, don't want to talk to anyone, afraid of giving out suggestions, ideas and anything, don't want to be noticed..and the worse, don't want to exist because I feel like being so alone is the safest thing I can do. I don't care if they call me geek or whatever all I care is just me, myself and I.
Way back in high school, I only had 3 closest friends. They were the only people that I used to mingle, talk, giggle, laugh and study with. Though I also have couple of friends, schoolmates and classmates that I gave out my shining smiles, I think my 3 closest friends were the only classmates that I used to know most. I am not that "choosy"-as how they termed it, when it comes to choosing a friend but I believed that they are the only persons who passed my qualifications -the rest, so typical. When I worked, I tried to develop it and somehow, improved it. And I can say I am improving! from 3 now I got plenty, but I just don't know why I can't cope up to some of my colleague's attitudes. But I don't want them to ruin my day, don't want to think of them like they are too important and too special. Colleagues like them are just so annoying--not all the times but most of the times. There were times that I want to visit a Psychiatrist and ask them if I have problem(s)- emotionally, mentally and socially, but I am afraid they'll discover something that will trigger the hell and crop out of me. Don't I have the confidence to face the world? Am I just afraid of the fact that I might not be accepted and loved? Or am I just going crazy and emo? haha..Whatever..it's human nature! yeah! human nature Marcus!
Going back to the real world, I have just listened to my Supervisor's Top 5 errors her agents repeatedly incurring. This only explains how agents, regardless how aged you are in the industry, performs while with their headsets. It's unstoppable, nobody is perfect, even my trainers- including my most recent ones- had mistakes, but don't ask me why we need to practice please! I am tired of discussing things like this. Anyway, below is my inspirational song, whenever I feel weary, down and degraded I listen to it. This is actually not a typical inspirational songs that singers have to raised their voices to their highest level, it is actually a technodance full of meaning. Hope I will influence someone to like this too.
Point of View- DB Boulevard
I don't have a cent
Will I pay my rent
And even my car doesn't work
Me and my man, he's the one
To die for, we have split up
Can't you see, life's easy
If you consider things
From another point of view
Ahhh, ah-ha yeah
In another way
From another point of view
Yeah, yeah, yeah, ahhh, ah-ha yeah
In another way
From another point of view
I see life and lights
All the colours of the world
So beautiful won't you come with me
I've seen birds and trees
All the flowers of the world
So beautiful won't you come with me
Ahhh, ah-ha yeah
In another way
From another point of view
Can't you see, life's easy
If you consider things
From another point of view
Ahhh, ah-ha yeah
In another way
From another point of view
Good Evening world...Good Evening Marcus
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