Sad but not so sad.

2011 has ended quite harsh. Well, I really would want to narrate it but it will only break me reminiscing the mishaps I am coping with. Sad? yes! but still moving on. I have learned that there is more to life than sadness and desolation. This life is giving me challenges that I merely survive. Challenges that give me courage to fight and walk with pride. Challenges that I have never imagined nor dreamt of. There are times that I am thinking of giving up and just walk away. But I know that doing so will only prove that quitters are losers.

I wish I can press rewind and turn back time where I still have my Mom and Dad. I know that I was raised well despite their absence. However, I know that I will be more than raised well if only I had them with me during trying times. Why do I always have to understand things? Why can't I be understood? Why do I always need to adjust? Why can't they adjust? I know that ranting this pathetic lines will only bring nothing but  tears. Oh! gosh! This entry is getting emotional- well what's new? 

Most say that I am smart. Most believe that I can cope with almost everything easily. Most know that I am a fighter. Most see me as a funny guy. I wish I can be that person that they are expecting to be. Not most know, I also shed tears whenever lonesome deteriorates me. I also know how to get hurt. 

So now, I am playing three roles. A Mother, a Father and a Brother. I have to embody these three personas to be able to survive. It is not easy, believe me. I am sending my brother to school, provide him everything he needs, give him a righteous life and provide him the love he never experienced from the other personas I am portraying. I do the laundry, iron our clothes, prepare our foods, work for our needs and all that. I know I also have to live my own life. I manage work wisely, I mingle with my friends, I sometimes go out and I blog. In spite of that, I still feel incomplete. Hence, this is the reason why I sometimes feel lonely. But I know I can live without it. Diversion of attention is the key. It should not distract and hinder me from reaching my goals. 

This is an another predicament entry. 

May this year be my year! I am very positive that I will be complete in time. 

Happy New Year Everyone!