Saturday, April 14, 2012

That morning when I questioned my sexuality.

Composing my thoughts. Musing how to start this effing ideas I got on my mind. Definitely I so missed blogging. And here it goes...

Last Friday night, cousins and some friends of her together with yours truly partied at CQB in Marikina. It was just my first time going there and I must say that it is the cheaper version of D Zone fronting La Salle. I meant, I felt like it was more of a Mercatto-type place. Nevertheless, I got slightly drunk and did not mind the annoying booming sound of the bar. Oh! Didn't I say that the DJ was my high school classmate? He surely does not have good taste. The bar is located along the main road and party-goers are surely getting the pollution from the vehicles passing through. I was really trying my very best to observe to at least give them one compliment, but it was such an epic fail. I am sorry but all I am saying is that the bar has to improve. 

Fast forwarding this horrible experience, and seeing the 'kind-of-good' side of the night, I met up with some of my old friends. Saw some familiar faces and I felt like I was on my teenies. Cousin had to went home at 2 am and I opted to stay there, unbelievably I stayed there for some more hours. I was with cousin's friend and she invited some of her friends to seat with us. It was actually nice mingling with them but I decided to go home. When one girl showed up and messed my messed life. 

She is an old friend and we got to know more each other when we both ran for SK. I so much admire this girl despite the reputation she has in our place. I must say that you would not like her but I saw something different that made me somewhat blush. But time passed and we went separate ways. 

I saw her with someone I thought her date. I completely transformed into someone anew. Well,  I think I have felt the same feeling I had felt towards her some years ago. For the first time, I exchanged kisses with a girl. (DISCLAIMER: THE KISSES ARE ON CHEEKS NOT ON LIPS). It was around 5am when I decided to leave the bar and head home when suddenly she, the girl this post is meant for, shouted my name and called me. She wanted to go home with me. Well, me pretending to be a gentleman took her to my pad and bought her toothbrush as she requested. We slept together in my bed and I was hugging her. That was the first time I have done it in my entire life. Never did I hug my mom like that. 

For the record, nothing has happened. I mean, seriously nothing has happened. Was I too drunk or have I just respected her? I felt something and readied myself for a battle but I have lost all of them when I thought of the effect a 10-minute pleasure may impart us. I so much felt the urge, the erection was present but I have not done anything. I may be capable of doing it that time since I have been longing for it quite a while now but there was this one thing that forced me to not do it. RESPECT, not the gayness or what but I see every woman as fragile. But I must admit I enjoyed sleeping with her. 

After some hours, she woke me up and asked me if we can go home. As we walked, she held my hand and became too much sweet. I almost felt I am walking with a girlfriend. She has given me a different kind of blush no man has given me. When we parted ways, she kissed me and thanked me. I kissed back and told her to take care of herself. 

Why am I so much affected? Why am I composing this blog about what has happened? Why was I too excited when I received SMS from her? 

To be continued. ..